PBA students on front page of Palm Beach Post disciplined for breaking dress code

The picture you see was featured on the front page of the Palm Beach Post on Wednesday.

What began as a reason to call home to tell mom that your picture made the front page of the Palm Beach Post ended with a call from Student Accountability.

Four students were written up Wednesday after a photograph appeared in the city newspaper showing them breaking rules in the student handbook. As is shown in the picture, three of the students are not wearing shirts, and all of them, in what appears to be a mockery of the rules, are not wearing any shoes.

The Navigator clearly states that these two offenses are against school policy.

"I woke up Wednesday morning and was so shocked that I spilled coffee all over my beard," said a PBA official. "It's as if these students are saying, 'come on PBA, I dare you to discipline me.' We see this type of thing on facebook and MySpace all of the time, but for the entire city to know that our students are participating in such heinous behavior is intolerable. I for one am completely embarrassed."

Each student, Caleb Pross, Danielle Bobbyson, Ryan Jarms, and John Engoheart were called in and received Values Violations Reports (VVR's) for their two accounts of breaking the dress code.

The picture shows one student in the left corner, who was saved from discipline when a passing car blocked the camera's view. Only a shot of his hand can be seen. PBA is currently detaining the other students and putting holds on their accounts and transcripts until someone comes clean and reveals the identity of the fifth accomplice.

"They're bound to break sometime or another," said an official. "We've got them locked up tight and are forcing them to watch Facing the Giants until they puke."

The unknown student is still on the loose, probably still not wearing a shirt or shoes. He is said to be armed and dangerous, using his unclothed body as a tool for making PBA girls stumble in their walk with Christ at the very sight of him.

Because of the photograph's obvious pornographic content, all on-campus copies of the Palm Beach Post have been confiscated from their racks and burned. Anyone caught with possession of the paper will be questioned for insubordination. The Post will be available for students again tomorrow, pending a review after the paper boy who wears cloth knickers and a brown cap delivers them on his bicycle early in the morning.