While students were sleeping in, out for a jog, or relaxing on the beach this Friday afternoon, PBA's faithful professors were attending a workshop on 'How to teach in the 21st century.'
"Welcome to the first day of the rest of your lives," read the workshop instructor from her power point presentation. "Today we will be discussing, what exactly you need to do in order for this university to be accredited; excuse me; to provide the best education to your students."
Upon entering, professors were strongly encouraged to empty their pockets of any educational materials that might serve as a hindrance to teaching in the 21st century.
"What century did she say we were in?" asked Dr. Fred Sewbree as he dropped a quill pen into the amnesty depository. Meanwhile, administrators wrestled Dr. Fred Blacking to the ground in order to confiscate his Galilean telescope.
"It doesn't even have a curved lens," exclaimed an administrator as he adjusted his shirt.
The professors were then given 32 inch wooden baseball bats, with which to smash PBA's entire stock of overhead projectors to smithereens. The rubble was covered in gasoline and lit on fire, reinforced by 600 chalk boards as the professors danced around the flames with black boxes and advanced video projectors raised above their heads.
As the workshop went on, professors participated in a wide range of scholastic activities, including a tug-a-war competition, 90 foot climbing wall, and scavenger hunt.
Dr. Paul Copot refused to speak to his brother Dr. Victor Copot after Vic pulled his arms back during the trust fall, sending Paul careening towards the floor.
At the close of the workshop, professors exited and raced to their vehicles, eager to get home to write learning objectives for Tuesday's classes.
We at the Bacon would like to extend a hearty thanks to the professors for all you do for this institution, and for the day off.
"Welcome to the first day of the rest of your lives," read the workshop instructor from her power point presentation. "Today we will be discussing, what exactly you need to do in order for this university to be accredited; excuse me; to provide the best education to your students."
Upon entering, professors were strongly encouraged to empty their pockets of any educational materials that might serve as a hindrance to teaching in the 21st century.
"What century did she say we were in?" asked Dr. Fred Sewbree as he dropped a quill pen into the amnesty depository. Meanwhile, administrators wrestled Dr. Fred Blacking to the ground in order to confiscate his Galilean telescope.
"It doesn't even have a curved lens," exclaimed an administrator as he adjusted his shirt.
The professors were then given 32 inch wooden baseball bats, with which to smash PBA's entire stock of overhead projectors to smithereens. The rubble was covered in gasoline and lit on fire, reinforced by 600 chalk boards as the professors danced around the flames with black boxes and advanced video projectors raised above their heads.
As the workshop went on, professors participated in a wide range of scholastic activities, including a tug-a-war competition, 90 foot climbing wall, and scavenger hunt.
Dr. Paul Copot refused to speak to his brother Dr. Victor Copot after Vic pulled his arms back during the trust fall, sending Paul careening towards the floor.At the close of the workshop, professors exited and raced to their vehicles, eager to get home to write learning objectives for Tuesday's classes.
We at the Bacon would like to extend a hearty thanks to the professors for all you do for this institution, and for the day off.
5 comments:
Enjoy your day off, guys. We're still here.
great story!
HAHA, so funny, thanks for the much needed laugh. I'm glad the school is doing something right.
There are many good things happening in Sailfishville.
now we all know for sure that the bacon is done completely by the faculty.
Look! Look! They wrote a story about the faculty, therefore it must be true! Theres noooo way a student could EVER come up with all this..blah...blah..blahh...
Harumff!
Now if you will excuse me, I have to go rant about something else that I know nothing about to someone who probably doesn't care to hear it.
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