MLK Challenge Confused with MILK Chug Challenge, Sustained Vomiting Ensues

In a tragic mishap monday morning, scores of PBA students mistakenly confused the mass e-mails from the Workship department regarding the “MLK Challenge” for the popularized MILK Chug Challenge.

The MLK project was intended to be a volunteer opportunity for students to reach out to the community by painting houses, picking up trash, and meeting the needs of inner city kids. But in a nightmarish turn of events, rather than community service, students were consumed by the PBA tradition of milk chugging.

After PBA banned the Milk Chug Challenge from campus, claiming that it involved "gluttony" and "lewd conduct," students were forced to hold the chugging elsewhere. Students were thrilled to discover that PBA was sponsoring the Milk Chug this year, and further that it coincided with Martin Luther King Day.

"I brought chocolate milk," smiled Aki Listerblaze, wheeling a 50 gallon red cooler across Rinker Green.

Dozens of students arrived gulping quart after quart of pale, warm milk, attempting to stomach an entire gallon within an hour. Holding gardening gloves and shovels, the Workship leaders avidly tried to convince the students that the MLK Challenge had nothing to do with milk.

But the students drank on.

While one group was roofing a WPB resident's house, freshman Edmund Porkswipe disgorged down the chimney.

“Once it started, there was no stopping it,” said Carlie Gawkmen, workship director, “whenever I see someone throwing up, I can’t help but spew.”

The grotesque sight induced a chain reaction of projectile milk vomiting.

“I had to throw my shoes away they stunk so bad,” sighed Sophomore Joy Besser.

In another part of the city, students visited a homeless shelter. The usually calm haven for the homeless turned into a chaotic scene of stomach wrenching mayhem, as students passed out gallons of whole milk.

"Greatest day of my life," commented a milk-moustached WPB homeless man, claiming to be Bill Cosby, "now I just need some cookies."

“I honestly thought it said ‘Milk’,” said a half-sedated Joe Laundromat “but the Milk chug was way fun anyway bro,” as chunky milk dripped down his chest from the half-gallon funnel he held over his head.

As a preventative measure, Campus Ministries has forbidden all abbreviations from event titles and display banners.