PBA Finally Gives up on Re-sodding Intramural Field, Mud Wrestling Season Begins

After 35 consecutive years of no grass on PBA's intramural field, Campus Recreation has decided to halt the upcoming ultimate frisbee and soccer seasons, in order to kick off PBA's first ever mud wrestling team.

The cost to re-sod the field runs around $11-12,000, and in past years this process has taken place over Christmas break. Considering the fact that the intramural field is the only enclosed area on campus for students to recreate has led many to wonder what happened this year.

"Our initial efforts included several beautiful "NO CLEATS" signs to help with the re-sodding process," said a spokesman, "but they didn't grow as much grass as we had hoped."

One school official, Karl Crandle, insists that an invisible garden gremlin has been devouring all the new seed planted on the field.

"Invisible gremlin, no question about it," said Crandle.

After a sighting was reported to safety and security, funds were raised for tri-force delta night vision spectacles to investigate the matter. When no conclusive evidence was discovered, recreation staff decided to call the whole thing off.

"Why spend thousands of dollars on grass when we can get free mud?" said a campus recreation staffer. "I mean we're already 95 percent of the way there."

Try-outs for the mud wrestling team are set for next week, and the season will begin in February.

"Just look at our mud," said Coach Joseph Patshire as he lathered mud all over his arms and face. "We've got the biggest and the best mud facilities in the country."