The School of Communication and Media announced today that all non-Regent University faculty and staff are required to pack their things and leave before next semester to make way for a new class of professors from the Virginia school. "I figured it would be best to get this done before my time as interim dean is over," said Duane Humbles, who has served as dean since Dr. Joseph Webb left to join the faculty at Gardner Webb University. "Unless of course...you don't think...I could one day be permanent dean!"
The school made the announcement just after graduation. Initially, all professors must sign a statement of faith saying that they believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, among other theological principles.
Effective immediately, all faculty candidates are required to have served on the faculty of Regent University and watch The 700 Club at least three times per week. The televisions in the school will all be permanently set to the Christian Broadcasting Network. (Which will be problematic since they are the only school without a building.)
"We have been doing this subtly over the past few years, dropping a non-Regent guy here, hiring a drove of Regent people there," said Humbles. "But then we figured, hey what the heck, it's already obvious, we may as well just put it out in the open."
So far, Humbles has successfully driven away Joseph Webb, Deborah McEniry, the theatre director of more than ten years; the entire journalism program and Ann Bracken among others.
Piggybacking on the deal whereby PBA would trade old professors from Regent with fresh grad students from PBA, the School of Communication will also accept technical equipment in place of teachers.
"What's a creative mind, when you've got one of these babies!?" he said, holding up a pair of $30,000 stage lights. "They last a lot longer, and let me tell you, they don't have mouths so they can't voice concerns or complain."
When asked to comment, Pat Robertson declined, mumbling something about endorsing Hugo Chavez for president and going to South America to nab that pesky Venezuelan, Rudy Giuliani.
Pat Robertson, congratulating future PBA faculty at Regent graduation
8 comments:
Way funny, thanks to the start of a new semester.
Wheaton has 2 Regent profs I am told. must be lowering their standards according to this.
As a student, I mainly care about how well a prof can teach not where they got their degree. This sure looks like a cheap shot at another school that an unhappy faculty member would write not a student. Actually, a lot of the bacon reads like it is coming from a faculty member not students.
um, anon #2, did you actually read the post or just the title? it is more of a commentary on the business/educational practices of the current leaders of the school, not anything against regent.
any news on why Brackin packed up and left so suddenly??
perhaps this article is hinting at just that very reason...
...among other things, of course
As I'm sure the more thoughtful Bacon readers have already surmised, some of your professors aren't even christians no matter what they've signed. I think it's amusing that your administration goes to such measures to protect and reinforce these ideas. Can you imagine such a thing at a secular university? But that's what your parents are paying for, right? An education that ensures what you have been force fed or "saved" by doesn't get challenged in the course of a "higher" education. It's hard to draw the line on what is "over the top" once you get started legislating thought isn't it.
Anyone who thinks PBA students are being force fed is just spewing forth the typical liberal agenda. Unless you are involved with PBA, you have no evidence of the sort. I always wonder why a person cares so much about what a private Christian University teaches. You don't have to send your child there. You can send them wherever you want and think that their so-called enlightened upbringing won't keep them from the party scene. Keep dreaming. You are in for a big shock.
Post a Comment