Determined and unwavering, PBA's International Justice Mission marches outside of the University building, barring anyone from entering the silent date auction that is scheduled to take place this evening. "Touching lives, one bid at a time," read Bolivia missions team t-shirts.
The group will be traveling to Santa Cruz, Bolivia this summer and organized the auction in effort to raise support.
"The auction will be done in typical silent auction fashion, " stated an e-mail that was sent to the entire campus community on behalf of the missions team.
"The auction will be done in typical silent auction fashion, " stated an e-mail that was sent to the entire campus community on behalf of the missions team.
On the block however, will not be chocolate-chip cookies, baseball tickets, nor Chick-Fil-A meal coupons, but rather students.
"Starting bids will range from $5-10," continued the e-mail, "please bring cash."
Eager freshman boys began emptying their bank accounts immediately with hopes of purchasing their dream date.
On the other hand, appalled to read about a human auction taking place on campus, all three members of IJM huddled around an uncut version of Hotel Rwanda, and vowed to end all injustice by six o'clock tomorrow morning.
Thus the protesting began.
"How can they sleep at night," said Codey Sleddin, as he licked the stamp for a letter addressed to his congressman.
Meanwhile, other members of IJM attempted to pickpocket all potential bidders lined up outside of the event venue.
The auction is scheduled to take place at eight o'clock this evening, granted IJM does not set the building on fire.
8 comments:
hope those lonely fresmen get their ladies. IJM sounds funny, I think I would participate in the auction and I don't even go to PBA.
There's not a better way to fund mission trips than organizing something akin to prostitution.
Auctioning human beings at PBA...
That didn't really happen, did it?
yeah i heard they were used for slave labor for a week, depending on how much they payed
It was a date auction. People bid on students, and take them out on a date. technically auctioning humans. organized by the Pba marriage committee.
Next up: auctioning off Russian brides for spots in Mango!
Hey, IJM has doubled in size this semester... we're up to 6 now.... (insert shameless plug here)You should all come! Wednesdays at 8 in the Annan Prayer Chapel!
hahahhaha
love love love love love it.
this is good shit bacon.
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