In a shocking and mystifying display, Team Ethiopia announced plans to break the 2 year tradition of holding every single possible missions fundraiser at Chick-Fil-A. Instead the team has decided to give KFC a shot.
"They don't even serve milkshakes," said junior Jack Foster, who hasn't missed a Tuesday night fundraiser since freshman year. "And I heard that KFC tortures innocent wheat stalks before killing them to make their bread."
The management team at Chick-Fil was also perplexed by the decision.
"We thought everyone understood that the slogan, 'Eat More Chikin,' really meant eat more of OUR chicken," said Rob Baker, manager of the Chick-Fil-A on Palm Beach Lakes Boulevard. "Apparently not."
Baker has proposed a nine week series on the history of Chick-Fil-A for every PBA business class held the rest of this semester.
"Who needs Microeconomics, when we could have Truett Cathy?" said a business professor in response to Baker's plan.
Attempting to sway them otherwise, Chick-Fil-A has also offered to donate 10,000 free meal coupons and 13 trillion stuffed animal cows to the Ethiopia missions trip.
"Don't those people think these things are holy or something?" said Baker.
In addition to the KFC fundraiser, 26 other missions teams will be holding an open mic coffee house/bake sale at Chick-Fil-A this week.
12 comments:
Love it. I wish you guys were around when I was a student!
Well done chris.
Students don't go on mission trips to Ethiopia anyways they go to "France" or "Hawaii" and everyone knows they are just called "mission" trips instead of spring break trips to avoid the Christian guilt of wanting to spend your spring break on vacation rather than on a mission trip
For heaven sake people, Chris is in India taking care of dieing people. He doesn't even have internet access!
Once and for all, get it straight, people. There are other people running the Bacon, not Chris M. He's graduated almost a year ago and now working in India with Mother Teresa's Sisters of Mercy charity organization. He doesn't have access to a computer.
Thank you "get your comment facts straight guy" for pointing this out.
why is there animosity towards former students who may or may not have been doing the bacon?
it seems animosity can often be more accurately interpreted as jealousy. so keep hiding behind your anonymous title while you call people out by name.
your jealousy is shameful, anonymous.
animosity is not always jealousy but i agree anonymous comments are obnocious to try to reply to when no one bothers just coming up with a tag name. Is it really that hard, people?
It really makes me laugh at how serious everyone gets when someone says that Chris wrote an article. It's even funnier how someone only named Megan essentially says it's wrong to hide behind the name anonymous. How revealing is a generic name like Megan? Ha ha ha ha ha. That cracks me up...and yes, I do realize the irony of hiding behind my own made up name. This whole blog is a joke.
Sweet article,
I'm always glad when we make the bacon!
Dear Anonymous,
I'm so full of Christian guilt over your comment about France and Hawaii that I have decided to re-title all of our trips, "Spring Break Trips," as you suggest. I am also looking into a plan to actually send students to both France and Hawaii over next year's spring break. Perhaps you would like to lead the trip? If so, please contact me.
Personally, I'm feeling called to suffer for Jesus in Fiji...maybe Bora Bora.
Lighten up, Iggy!
It was a joke.
You know 3 years ago In China I spent seven hours talking to a kid named Bill, not only did God use me to change Bill's life, but Bill changed my life. For the first time in Bill's life did he hear Jesus' name, and it came from a PBA student's mouth on a PBA mission trip. I wasn't able to lead Bill to Christ, only God can truly do that. I have no doubt in my mind that one day Bill will be a believer. Why don't you try telling Bill that PBA students only care about vacation trips to other countries. Why do you have to take a perfectly good article and spoil it with your ignorance.
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