“We did not expect this alarming amount of professor involvement,” stated Dr. Globa-Doba. “If we do not monitor and regulate this contingency we could be looking at a possibility of three philosophy professors some time in the near future!”
PBA wanted to begin their investigation by monitoring the everyday lives of the professors by stationing new Safety and Security guards with even newer Safety and Security Uniforms outside the homes of the unsuspecting professors. This plan was soon thrown out when they realized the entire fund had been used up by the Michael Bay Library Movie.
With this in mind, PBA turned to its last hope, Google. The company is widely known for its popular search engine and for its online maps, a feature administrators found particularly enticing.
“I'm glad we are finally dealing with this problem”, stated Dr. Lovebliss of the science department. “The idea of the possibility of non-empirical thought is a dangerous thing. You know there is more going on in those minds than the length of their lawns.”
Students wishing to join the fight against the philosophy department may use the Street View feature on Google Earth.
21 comments:
How about a caption to explain the pictures? Could that be our two philosophy professors caught on Google Earth?
That would be the point, yes.
Heavens, not THREE philosophy professors!
Let this be a warning to you, PBA: Harvard, too, started as a Christian institution. Do you want to end up as they have?!
Thank goodness for the comments. Bacon, welcome back!
I don't understand the story.
Did the university really spy on a professor's house?
Obviously, looking at StreetView on Earth has two philosophy profs.
I'm sorry to be such a dunce, but I have no clue what this article is about. Is it an inside joke? To what is this article parodying or satirizing? Without some context, it is meaningless.
Come on, the Bacon can do better than this. Let us in on the joke so we can laugh with you at the punch line.
Where are they?
Seems like this is more about google and has nothing to do with PBA.
We just got done with Sailfish Cup and plenty of stories could have been written about the Lip Syncs. Just another missed opportunity I guess.
see...told you to put a caption to explain the article. It's funny if it's explained.
Coincidentally, both philosophy professors were outside when the Google Earth camera rolled by, so the joke is that PBA is paying Google to keep an eye on the philosophy department.
Funny.
If you don't think it's funny, as I have found it to be, then do some investigative journalism for the Bacon yourself.
I thought the article was hilarious, thank you very much. Poor Perry Hildreth would rue the day!
Welcome back Bacon - great article. I hear PBA keeps an eye on the Biology dept. too - they teach that ole' evolution junk.
The Bacon isn't funny.
And it doesn't report on important campus issues.
It's just old and greasy and needs to be tossed out with the burnt hashbrowns.
I love old hashbrowns. And I love the Bacon.
I love what the Bacon was. It used to be discussed at higher levels, but they haven't mentioned it in at least a year. Oh well, it was good while it lasted.
Can't agree more...the Bacon lost its sizzle.
Write some good ones, then. and send them in.
The Bacon has been substituted with Beggin Strips. There hasn't been any bacon in over a year.
zz...
Hasn't been discussed in the high circles in a year? I guess you aren't very plugged in because the admissions article pushed a lot the higher ups' buttons.
When a watch is broken, you don't keep it around so you can check it the two times a day that it's right, you throw it away and find a new one. The administration doesn't regard the Bacon at all anymore, even though it may have an article or two that should push their buttons.
Two years ago, every article got attention and we all waited to see what the next one would be. Now though, I havne't heard Dr. Clark, Kloba, or Searle mention the Bacon since September.
I guess that may mean the admissions article ruffled their feathers, but what have you done for me lately? And now that the Bacon's editor got kicked out of school, what will you be able to do for me in the future?
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