General election polls indicate Mahanes the leading candidate on PBA campus

While the colors red and blue tint much of the map of the United States for the Presidential election Tuesday night, one speck in the state of Florida will likely be colored a bright yellow.

This speck, of course, represents the campus of PBA voting not for either major candidate but for respected VP of Religious Life Dr. Ken Mahanes.

As speculation arose that he would take the helm as President of PBA next year, Mahanes soon realized the entire country instead was much more in need of prudent leadership. The rest may soon be history.

The other half of the presidential ticket is filled by history professor Dr. Gary Poe. Though it seemed odd Mahanes would pick someone so famous for his liberal views, the candidate defended his choice.

“Dr. Poe is a man who will challenge me in the White House,” said Mahanes. "Plus, he said he'd give me five bucks."

Due to a lack of campaign materials readily available for the Mahanes ticket, students have been taking McCain-Palin signs and bumper stickers and have been crossing out the printed names to replace them with Mahanes-Poe.

“No one’s gonna know the difference,” said former McCain supporter Ricky Slim-Fast.

Members of the College Democrats have shown their support for the local candidate, setting up a table each week with information about Mahanes' policy and handing out absentee ballots with his name written in.

Former Ron Paul supporters have also taken up the Mahanes cause and have their chalk ready to write “Google Ken Mahanes” on all of PBA’s sidewalks.

Some students, however, were confused by the election activity going on.

"Is this for the Sailfish Jack sandwich thing?" asked sophomore Delilah Hammerthorn.

The Socratic Club's faculty debate scheduled for Monday night has adjusted its panel, adding to the conservative and liberal debaters an advocate for "just-plain-awesome."

When asked if he is running with any specific party, Mahanes responded, “Forget politics, let’s just party!”

We at the Bacon bid you good luck, Dr. Mahanes. See you at the polls!