by AnonymousLet me tell you I am so freaking psyched to be on the freaking Bacon. For too long PBA has been trying to keep me down but they can never keep down my first amendment!
See, I've been talking to my buddies down at Smoker's Wall about how much PBA is out to get us. I mean, seriously, it's rule after rule infringing my rights and the SS on my tail trying to get me to conform to this whole Letdown-fest. Something's gotta be done.
I've been spreading the word on the Bacon. You might see my name in the comments section challenging the status quo. That's because this whole establishment needs to be questioned, man. That's what Ron Paul did and I just can't let his dream die.
So the next time you see me spreading the word don't give me no disrespect. I'm just as angry as you are. And you know what? The louder we are, the more we're gonna see a change in this conformity academy.
26 comments:
This. Is. Hilarious.
Thank you so much for this ironic perspective on the "PBA rebel."
:-D
Letdown-fest.
Great satire, Bacon boys (Or girls?)
Kinda lame.
I think the perspective idea is a great idea...and while the satirical view of the bacon is expected, this is truly a disservice to PBA's historical rebels that had absolutely nothing to do with "Smoker's Wall" although they were definitely defenders of its existence and the right of students to stand there....remember you can be religious and rebellious PBA students at the same time and that does not necessarily mean the stance they rebel against is as trivial as the article makes it sound...
Did Luther smoke?
Yes.
Lex Luther smoked Lucky Strikes.
Udderlyamazed: You would think it's satire or something ;-) But I agree, sometimes the most rebellious people are the best Christians
I think that the Bacon understands that some rebels are important. I mean, aren't the bacon writers rebels in a way? I think the joke is about the people who are "rebels without a cause" so to speak. I don't think people are confusing past quality rebels like Dan Goodman for an angry student at smokers wall.
yeah, i've done my fair share of complaining about PBAs strict rules, then i realized that i'll just have to suck it up and transfer after this year
i am angry, though, that pba didnt put a warning on their website: "if you like partying, and if you dislike lots of (well intentioned but pointless) rules, then don't come to this school"
would have saved me a lot of hassle. i did expect a certain level of discipline, considering it's a christian school; but we're all adults, and we're treated like freshmen in high school. i know some other places are worse, but that doesn't make pba any better.
I'm so curious to pick your brain and would appreciate some more thoughts from you (latest anon). How did you not know that PBA wouldn't let you party? I have a hard time believeing that you weren't told, but apparently that's what happened. Did you just ignore what you were being told, not think they were serious about it, or were you really never told? Everytime I hear someone say something like this I have a hard time believeing them, but it keeps getting said so I'd really appreciate your feedback on it. Thanks.
Dear Prev. anon,
If you would have done a little homework in looking up the school, or maybe asked some people, or maybe read some reviews, rather than just going ga ga over how close we are to the beach, you might have figured it all out before you came.
Also, to say, "I know it's a Christian school, but come on...you think we're going to actually act like Christians? " is the problem.
Stop whining .
The recruiter didn't say a word about spying on us.
Anyone really like all the spying around here?
Spying? Who is spying? James, Do we need to call out some of the grad psych students to screen you for paranoid schizophrenia?
For ever student who leaves because they want to "party" another transfers in because the "party" university they went to was so disappointing and well vulgar. So it all works out according to God's will.
Well, when you put it so flippantly...
Everyone who's saying that "PBA won't let you drink/party etc." Should probably realize that to many 'PBA' rebels Christianity doesn't mean not drinking, not smoking. Yes, beliieve it or not, some people have skewed vision of what a Christian, or a Christian University is ot isn't, and, as a matter of fact, it's mostly our (Christian's) fault for displaying a false vision of what God really looks like in flesh and blood, so many times a person comes to PBA either thinking that I.) Christians are just the same as everyone else and do the same as everyone else, or II.) Christians are a bunch of stuck up people who vote republican and only care about not drinking, pro-life protests and banning gay marriage.
Let's face it, Christianity has done a bad job of representing itself, this University included. I mean, yes PBA is a 'Christian' University, and from what I've read in the Bible, Christians aren't the kind of people who have others arrested partly because they are against their belief system and pass it off like it's a noble and holy cause.
don't hate on a brotha for voting republican
Black Falcon,
Jeez, so I'm a bad Christian just because I think it's not a horrible idea for Christians to wait a while longer for drinking and whatnot? Right. That makes tons of sense. Ever consider the fact that one of PBA's main focus is the spiritual formation of it's students at an early age? While drinking may not be horrible, PBA has a series of people who give it insane amounts of money and those folk tend to believe that it may be wiser to try and put some level of control over drinking and whatnot. At least for the four measly years that people tend to decide to stick around PBA for.
And as for people getting arrested, now you're just exploding things out of proportion. Ever notice that what you wrote seems fairly similar to the "PBA Rebel" mentality?
Seriously, this one was dead on though, awesome job, Bacon.
To all those who are lamenting PBA's enforcement of Christian values, I must ask, are you out of your mind?
I mean seriously, who doesn't enjoy some good ol' fashioned paternalism now and then? It's really a win-win situation for all involved. When the administration makes important decisions for you (all biblically justifiable, of course), you don't have to waste precious time thinking for yourself. With all the time and energy you'll save, you'll be better able to focus on being a better Christian. You need to trust that PBA KNOWS WHAT IS BEST FOR YOU.
You NEED to have FAITH that they (PBA) are biblically-informed scholars who are the virtuous and willing recipients of the divine's prescience in all earthly matters.
You need to BELIEVE that the benevolent being we commonly identify as "God" has, by some miraculous fashion, entrusted PBA with domain over our lives, tirelessly filling administration with the Holy Spirit in an effort to protect your impressionable young minds from the secular world's salacious and most often, pernicious temptations.
As mere students, you lack the foresight and discernment to make concrete decisions for yourselves. You haven't lived long enough, nor have you been under biblical instruction to the extent that you can be trusted to make responsible decisions.
The rebellion against certain PBA values are only characteristic of youthful naivety and not of any serious intellectual merit. As a consequence of your intellectual and spiritual ineptitude, is it any wonder that the administration behaves in the way it does?
previous anonymous: You're not allowed to write something so hilarious and brilliant without providing a pseudonym.
Paternalism. mmmmm
Is that the lead guitarist of Caillou in the picture?
Spiritual pride caused Lucifer to fall from Heaven.
Not tobacco or beer.
I am very happy to see this story. I was part of smokers wall last spring and was part of smokers wall last year, along with 4 other friends of mine, until we were all kicked out. It's true. PBA does target smoker's wall. Last year, it was admitted at a student gov't meeting that lowdermilk attended. He admitted that they were targeting smokers wall, as told by the student govt president. No shit. Smokers wall of today... did you know there was a BENCH!? yep. a bench. But no more, because pba took it.
frank the dank,
Thanks for the compliment; I personally have an insatiable appetite for paternalism... For dessert, I often partake in a heaping serving of dogmatic pie topped off with a sprinkling of self-piety for good measure.
MMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm salivating....
There should only be one "n" in pining, please don't flog me too hard ;)
this is a waste of time and energy. what a fool
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