Adam McKinney: Student Government President, pimp

Look out, ladies! This Student Government President (and only male member of the administration) will not only steal your vote, but he'll steal your heart.

Adam McKinney, a sophomore, political science major from Gainesville, Florida (more like Heartthrobsville, USA!), wakes up every morning to Marvin Gaye and eats Suave cereal for breakfast.

When he's not thwarting injustice with an iron fist, he's rescuing sea turtle eggs from the Towers fox (not to mention wooing foxy ladies around campus).

"He's got the debonair of James Bond, and the fiscal policy of Ronald Reagan," swooned Holly Bandsaw, a newcomer to the student government team.

Good luck, Adam and the rest of Student Government. Keep fighting the good fight.

Freshman's toe malformation dampers foot washing service

It came as a surprise to incoming freshman Patrick Franklin when he and his three-toed left foot were deemed 'totally gross' at the Welcome Week foot washing service on Sunday evening.

Marking the conclusion of Fish Week, the evening focused on the idea of service. At its conclusion, several PBA administrators began washing students' feet, who in turn washed their fellow students' feet.

Like those before him, Franklin removed his shoes and socks, placing his feet in the bowl of water. This was followed by a scream, and an "Oh my gosh, Oh my gosh!," from sophomore fish leader Cindy Bolberjam

Keeping her composure long enough to dry the gap between Franklin's little and index toe, Bolberjam made it off stage in time to sob into her roommate's shoulder.

"It definitely, like totally growled at me," said Bolberjam.

Two PBA soccer players were also escorted off stage after contaminating a washing basin with athletes foot. Likewise, no one dared to go anywhere near Gi Josephs, a transfer into the ROTC program, when he unveiled a repulsing case of trench foot.

All in all, the evening was a success, and mad props go out to PBA administrators for their brave service.

Welcome back, future alumni and ex-employees of PBA

As we begin a new school year, we here at the Bacon are excited to bring you the most reliable PBA news. However, we cannot do this without the continued help and support of you, our PBA family.

So we want you, to please send us your ideas, stories, photos, videos, and money.