Library renovated to suit pharmacy students

The Warren Library, the newest addition to the PBA campus, has been renamed and renovated to accommodate its most faithful patrons, pharmacy students. The new CVS Library of Pharmacy, with its less than sanitary bathrooms and previous penchant for parties, will now primarily cater to the needs of pharmacy and pre-pharmacy students.

"They came in and practically took charge of the library," said librarian Bob Twin, "and so we thought they just needed us the most."

Study rooms on the second and third floors now include a handy supply of insufflators and hangers for lab coats. Business, history, philosophy, and ministry books have been sold in order to clear shelf space for truckloads of PCAT study guides, medical journals, and drug brochures. The Rinker Boardroom has been converted into a pharmacy lab for studying the nature of energy drinks as a gateway drug.

Other academic programs have complained about the obvious favoritism being displayed for the pharmacy program in the library. PBA's administration took note of this, but rebutted by stating that the pharmacy program was PBA's "cash crop."

As one administrator exclaimed, "We don't even have to give them scholarships!"

PBA professor remembers the original 90's, 90-99 A.D.

by Dr. Lovejoy


Take a little walk with me, students, as I remember my childhood. It was the decade of 90, a time when it was fashionable for Rome to build a system of aqueducts and for iron plows to be fitted with wheels to control the depth and ease of plowing.

The 90's began with Parthia's Artabanus III dying after a 10-year period in which he had challenged the suzerainty of Pakoros II, who would continue his reign until 105. It ended with the silver content of the Roman denarius rising to 93 percent under the emperor Trajan, up from 92 percent under Domitian.

So what happened in between those years that made the decade in which I lived out my childhood so memorable? The popular culture of the 90's was full of fun and interesting events that I won't soon forget.

This was the decade when exciting new literature dominated our lives. I still remember when John of Ephesus first published Revelation. That's some pretty deep stuff, even today!


Also, there were always some juicy political events to keep the world's attention. Why, I remember it like it was yesterday when Roman emperor Domitian had a ton of his senators executed out of paranoid fears that they were plotting to kill him. And who could forget when the Roman emperor Nerva died suddenly on January 25, 98, at age of 63 after a 16-month reign and was succeeded by his adopted son, who reigned until 117 as the emperor Trajan. It really puts these current political "troubles" into perspective.

And don't think that racism in politics is anything new either. Why, I remember when a Jewish delegation to Rome was led by Rabbi Gamliel II, along with Rabbis Akiva, Joshua and Eleazar to request that Emperor Domitian rescind one of his anti-Jewish proclamations. How's that for racial tension?



And finally, a taste of things to come for the 100's. Zhang Heng left his home in 95 to begin attending University. He would go on to invent the first seismometer as well as the first hydraulic powered armillary sphere. How I lived without that stuff I'll never know.

As I look back and remember the crazy things that I lived through, I imagine what we will think when we look back on the first 90's of this century.

Portrait of a Bacon Reader: The PBA Rebel

by Anonymous

Let me tell you I am so freaking psyched to be on the freaking Bacon. For too long PBA has been trying to keep me down but they can never keep down my first amendment!

See, I've been talking to my buddies down at Smoker's Wall about how much PBA is out to get us. I mean, seriously, it's rule after rule infringing my rights and the SS on my tail trying to get me to conform to this whole Letdown-fest. Something's gotta be done.

I've been spreading the word on the Bacon. You might see my name in the comments section challenging the status quo. That's because this whole establishment needs to be questioned, man. That's what Ron Paul did and I just can't let his dream die.

So the next time you see me spreading the word don't give me no disrespect. I'm just as angry as you are. And you know what? The louder we are, the more we're gonna see a change in this conformity academy.

PBA to honor business leaders, collect donations

This Thursday PBA will celebrate its premier annual event, Free Enterprise Day, which has honored enterprising individuals since 1984.

This year's medalist is Dr. John M. Gregory, Managing Partner of SJ Strategic Investments and son of Lloyd L. Gregory, namesake of Palm Beach Atlantic University's pharmacy building.

Past recipients have included such names as Marshall E. Rinker, Sr., William G. Lassiter, Jr., and Carl DeSantis.

While the event transpires Thursday morning, PBA has already made plans to honor individuals in the future, including those mentioned below:

• Mr. John D. & Mrs. Catherine T. MacArthur
  
• Dr. Donald E. & Mrs. Bebe Warren
  
• Mr. Kenneth & Mrs. Laura Baxter
  
• Mr. Theodore & Mrs. Vivian Johnson
  
• Mrs. Helen Weyenberg
  
• Mrs. Vera Lea Rinker
  
• Mr. Henry M. Flagler
  
• Mrs. Helen Fraser
  
• Mrs. Bertha Borbé
  
• Mr. Oedipus Okeechobee
  
• Dr. John P. Greene III
  
• Dr. Gertrude P. Pembroke
  
• Dr. Arnold Lakeview
  
• Mrs. Eustice Oceanview
  
• Ms. Meredith Mango
  
• Dr. Walt Superdorm
  

Portrait of a Bacon Reader: The Confused Alumnus

by Dustin Dingleheimer

I remember my days at PBA like it was yesterday: The Bug Race, Christival, Resumania. Man, what a ride!

Now that I'm out in the real world, putting my degree to good use here at the Chick-Fil-A, I miss being in college and feeling that sense of community.

The Bacon is a great way for me to still know about current PBA politics and happenings. I just wish they would tell me the real story so I could get all the jokes.

For example "PBA opens new parking lot: Lake by the Chapel," what the heck are they talking about? Is PBA giving students aquatic cars and the Bacon thinks the money should be spent otherwise? What is rumor? What is fact? What is the new policy on parking in the deck? What's the real story?

Oh, and then there was that article "Soulforce is coming to PBA." What the heck is a Soulforce? It sounds like a legitimate organization but people on the comments seem to be debating whether or not that is true. I mean, look their logo, it has Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and Gandhi on it. So they must be a great organization.

The Bacon really needs to work a lot harder at making sure that the other alumni and I know what these articles are about. So, c'mon Bacon, help all of us confused alumni out! I mean, what do you expect us to do? Read the comments and use some critical thinking? What, did I graduate from Northwood or something?

Note: This is the first in a series of "Portraits of a Bacon Reader." Check back for future letters from real Bacon readers!

General election polls indicate Mahanes the leading candidate on PBA campus

While the colors red and blue tint much of the map of the United States for the Presidential election Tuesday night, one speck in the state of Florida will likely be colored a bright yellow.

This speck, of course, represents the campus of PBA voting not for either major candidate but for respected VP of Religious Life Dr. Ken Mahanes.

As speculation arose that he would take the helm as President of PBA next year, Mahanes soon realized the entire country instead was much more in need of prudent leadership. The rest may soon be history.

The other half of the presidential ticket is filled by history professor Dr. Gary Poe. Though it seemed odd Mahanes would pick someone so famous for his liberal views, the candidate defended his choice.

“Dr. Poe is a man who will challenge me in the White House,” said Mahanes. "Plus, he said he'd give me five bucks."

Due to a lack of campaign materials readily available for the Mahanes ticket, students have been taking McCain-Palin signs and bumper stickers and have been crossing out the printed names to replace them with Mahanes-Poe.

“No one’s gonna know the difference,” said former McCain supporter Ricky Slim-Fast.

Members of the College Democrats have shown their support for the local candidate, setting up a table each week with information about Mahanes' policy and handing out absentee ballots with his name written in.

Former Ron Paul supporters have also taken up the Mahanes cause and have their chalk ready to write “Google Ken Mahanes” on all of PBA’s sidewalks.

Some students, however, were confused by the election activity going on.

"Is this for the Sailfish Jack sandwich thing?" asked sophomore Delilah Hammerthorn.

The Socratic Club's faculty debate scheduled for Monday night has adjusted its panel, adding to the conservative and liberal debaters an advocate for "just-plain-awesome."

When asked if he is running with any specific party, Mahanes responded, “Forget politics, let’s just party!”

We at the Bacon bid you good luck, Dr. Mahanes. See you at the polls!