Students are up in arms about a controversial new decision regarding human rights and freedom of speech.
PBA recently added F*** My Life, a popular online destination among teens and twenty-somethings, to its list of blocked websites, citing “adult content.” The site, better known as FML, is a daily-updated collection of hilarious and embarrassing anecdotes, many of them explicitly sexual in content.
Many resident students have already taken to the streets, voicing their anger in violent protest. “This is ridiculous,” said freshman Mitch Rurry. “They already have MTV and Comedy Central blocked on the TV, and now I can’t even read my favorite raunchy website!” he exclaimed while tossing a Molotov cocktail through an upstairs window in Borbe Hall.
Safety and Security have beefed up their numbers in retaliation, calling in reinforcements from the West Palm Beach police department’s SWAT division. “This is even bigger than Soulforce,” said an officer when reached for comment. “We might have to break out the tear gas.”
A particularly poignant submission recently posted on the website reads as follows: “Today, I got back from my Point 58 Bible study and clicked on my FML bookmark expecting to be entertained for hours by reading about the misfortune of others. I was horrified to find my daily dose of dirty humor blocked by my stupid Christian school. FML”